Barely a minute could go by without ditsy blonde Jessica Simpson saying something outrageously stupid.

Belters include her refusing to eat buffalo wings because she "doesn't eat buffalo" ; confusion over whether a tin of tuna made by Chicken of the Sea contained chicken or tuna; and calling veneers "ventures" after muddling them up with dentures.

I know millions couldn't bear to watch because every time she opened her mouth she would say something idiotic but I always sympathised with her as I too have a tendency to engage mouth before brain.

(It's slightly easier to get away with it when you're brunette.)

I do know buffalo wings are named after the Buffalo area of New York where the recipe originated – but it's easy to see why people might assume they're eating buffalo rather than chicken.

And while I admit there aren't many buffalo with wings, they're not a creature you imagine being ideal for milking either.

I bet millions, including Jessica, have eaten buffalo mozzarella without realising it is made from buffalo milk.

Although I hate to imagine what she thinks are in toad in the hole and spotted dick.

As for a seafood brand calling itself "chicken of the sea" – that's plain baffling, who wouldn't be confused?

Laughing

I've had many a blonde moment – like asking a colleague whether Kes (the bird in the film of the same name) was a falcon or a hawk.

When he finally stopped laughing he told me it was a kestrel – hence the name Kes, rather than Fal or Haw.

Like so many things, it's instantly obvious once some smart alec points it out.

A mate of mine was ridiculed for asking whether ginger beer was alcoholic – why is that an unreasonable question?

Anyway that's the background to what I will go on to say.

When I sat down to write this column I intended to campaign for St George's Day to become a bank holiday. After all, we have less than many of our EU comrades.

And why should St Patrick's Day steal all the glory every year, why shouldn't we celebrate our Englishness for a change?

Northern Ireland already has a bank holiday on St Patrick's Day, the Scottish Parliament has introduced a voluntary Bank Holiday on St Andrew's Day and the Welsh Assembly agrees St David's Day should be a holiday.

I'm taking tomorrow off work in protest – and if enough of us do it we might just persuade the Government it's the right thing to do.

The thing is, when I looked into bank holidays I discovered something that is blindingly obvious but had never crossed my mind.

A bank holiday is so-called because it is a day when the banks are ordered to stay closed.

Did you know that? I think I assumed the term was something to do with having an extra day's holiday in the (metaphorical) bank.

Surely I'm not the only person in the world who didn't know this?

Anyway, all stupidity aside, let's all make a concerted effort to get those in power to declare St George's Day a bank holiday by next year.

I just hope it won't trigger a spate of dragon-slaying.


Easy, tiger

I KNOW from the response I get when I mention my kittens that YEP readers are as mad about cats as me – some far madder.

So just to keep you up to speed, this week the little tearaways have been mostly falling into the toilet; accidentally sliding down the stairs in an Easter egg box; diving headfirst into my handbag and racing round the lounge faster than a pair of greased leopards.

But the most hilarious moment was when Yoghurt (formerly known as Yoda) sat in front of the TV transfixed by the BBC's Tiger – Spy in the Jungle.

Well, he is half Bengal – maybe he spotted some distant relatives.


Jazz, delicious hot

WHERE Manchester leads, Leeds follows, and if you're talking about jazzing up an evening out you can look no further than this funky city.

I'm not too sure when jazz became cool but they've been serving it up alongside their fat fries and aioli for years over the Pennines.

Now Leeds has caught up and suddenly every other eatery is holding regular jazz sessions.

Obviously The Wardrobe has been doing it for years – that's where Corinne Bailey Rae, pictured, honed her incredible talent – and now Smokestack in the city centre does it, Seven Arts in Chapel Allerton holds Seven Jazz on Sundays and Felicini on Albion Street has jazz on Wednesdays and alternate Fridays.

I'm not exactly a jazz aficionado but while you're tucking into a three-course meal and sipping on a cool Sauvignon Blanc you really can't beat having a live band schmoozing away in the background.

If, unlike me, you know anything about jazz you might be impressed to hear that internationally-recognised jazz musician Jerome McMurray is the resident performer at Felicini on alternate Fridays.

And if you don't know your groove from your ground beat, let me assure you it's a lot easier on the ears than anything you've heard at The Fast Show's Jazz Club.